Lent and other things

The first year I followed the 40 days of personal sacrifice and reflection known as Lent, I was away at a Christian college that probably would have been horrified at the very idea of one of their students following a "Catholic" tradition. For reasons even unknown to me, the idea of doing something like Lent appealed to me so deeply that I decided I would give up fried foods, dessert and soda. Which, as an on campus student, was half of the cafeteria's menu. Lost story short, I kept very rigidly to my routine and only drank diet sodas on Friday as I was under the impression that if you could eat fish on Friday, diet soda would be my fish. It made sense at the time. On Easter I celebrated my victory with a glass of Mountain Dew and for the rest of the semester was barely interested in the fried foods or desserts the cafeteria had to offer. I also had been able to break my habit of drinking Mountain Dew for every meal and had lost 20 pounds.

The next couple of years were very tumultuous for me and I can't remember observing Lent, or if I did, my resolutions were so minimal, they didn't make an impression on me. Since I was raised in a family that not only didn't observe Lent, but one that considered it to be something that smacked of legalism, the next couple of times I tried to make Lenten sacrifices, I was not supported. Eventually my family came to realise that Lent is not something I am compelled to do, but rather something I use as a way of "Spring Cleaning" my brain and habits.

This year I wanted to make sure my sacrifices were things I'd actually miss. So instead of picking a food or entertainment item to give up, I picked social networking. That's right, I logged out of Facebook last night and won't be back until after Easter. Even writing that last sentence I felt twinges of longing, which is kind of the point. You are supposed to give up something you will actually miss. I was told that the longing or urges you get are supposed to remind you why you are doing this and in my case it's to take back my time.

Ever since I graduated, and stopped working at a 9-5 job I have had terrible time management habits. A very small part of this is due to a medication I take to help me sleep, which, taken too late, can make me a worthless zombie deep into the next day. The rest of this is due to the fact I have used sleeplessness, mania and a host of other excuses keep me from making my own regimented schedule. Instead of waking up at the same time every day and working on things like art, web design, beading, helping out around the house and then spending personal time, I spend an inordinate amount of time screwing around online, then wondering where my day went and resenting any interruptions to my "routine."

So, here I go. Day 1 of 40 days. I also gave up desserts and going to bed after 12am. I had my sister change my Facebook PW and have set my alarm and thrown my sleeping pills up into this alcove I won't be able to get into without an 8 foot ladder, which I luckily do not own. Wish me luck and check back to see if I have gone insane or not!

Well, more insane than usual!